|its been a while
||[Feb. 8th, 2008|08:15 pm]
|||||iron and wine||]|
i figure that no one probably reads this anymore so its safe to use this as an actual journal. my hand cramps when i write to much so i figure typing is a good way to get my thoughts out. andrea actually reminded me that i have one of these. i was gonna use my old xanga but it is alllllll crazy now. i dont even understand how to use it anymore. lol
new beau...steve. we are invested to put it in the broadest sense. basically hes totally diggin me. lol. sometimes its like WOAAAH you're realllllly in love with me. like he literally just told me that he has finished writing his vows. whiiiiiich to most people would be creepy, strange, and overzealously odd, butttt im sentimental. lol. even if it doesnt end up being forever, its really nice to pretend for the time being.
my friends have not been as sentimental as of late. they have actually been acting very exclusive ever since i got accepted to most of my out of state colleges and they are all stayin at kstate. i think they think im some kind of snob because i dont want to stay in this shithole town. but whatevs, im getting out and making something of myself. they are gonna be lame manhattanites forever.
i get so frustrated sometimes with the immaturity of most people my age. i know it actually does sound conceited to say that i have matured a lot faster than my friends but it honestly feels like i have. ya, i know i have a lotttttt more to learn but honestly they have about a billion more things to learn than i do. they are retarded. like literally. annie has had like 4 boyfirends and she has yet to learn how to talk and communicate with any of them. she has said i love you to every one of them, but most of them, she never even kissed. noooo relationships are not based around the physical, buuuuut, she says i love you after less than a month but she cannot tell them to their face. she usually says it in a text message. or email. every boy she has dated has been one to two years younger than her which automatically makes them about 300 times less mature than her, which in her case is saying a lot. she is literally one of the most immature people i have ever met. buuuuuut im the lameass who is sentimental and isnt going to end a friendship that has been going on for 6 years. we only have 6 more months of each other. i think i can stick it out.
familyyyyy. mom is still nuts. dad is still vacant. but whatev. only 6 more months of them too. my mom is "always right" my dad is the king of a land called passive aggressiva. i think when i move out they are gettin a divorce. honestly, i would be happy for them because i know that that is what both of them want. my mom asks me weird questions that imply it often. like yesterday she was like "how would you feel if your dad and i left each other and i started datin other people?" when she says stuff like that, it throws me off guard but not in a bad way. like its shocking that she would be so blunt but i tell her that i would rather see her happy.
i enjoy this online journal thing.
i shall keep it up.